LOCKS OF LOVE – Merin K

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Author      : Merin K
Company : Envestnet Asset Management

LOCKS OF LOVE

As each lock of my hair
Fell loose to ground in despair
And from behind my mirror
Crawled out a picture of terror
Away, I turned my face in fear
With a scream inside loud and clear
The cry of every churning pill
Reminded me I am very ill.
I know not a place to elope
These ticking moments give no hope.
This pain is mine to bear
Till my path gets any clear.
Every morn my insides run out
Blood fills my nose till I pass out
One fine Monday morning it was
When I fell to this test I couldn’t pass
Miserable three months have passed
But it feels like no time has elapsed
One moment I was fine and perfect
And next, nothing but imperfect
Throat dries up, head spins
Hiding something the fate grins
It tells me to let go, to end it all
But I say no, I won’t let myself fall
Every moment is a hard journey
Every step in this desert is hot agony
Despite the odds I wait for the rain
To come and relieve me of my pain
Because I had once let a drizzle fall
And held strong someone ready to fall
I had let my beautiful hair
To be chopped off for someone in despair
Cancer- it was eating her alive
I could see her trying hard to thrive
Nothing had I to give up for her
No money, no life, just some hair
Chemo took up her lovely curls, while
I gave up mine with a smile
Not a big deed, not a rain
A drizzle in her desert of pain
Years have passed, she is gone
But the killer who took her is not yet done
Hath come back for me now
Stronger, worse, I know not how
Eyebrows, eyelashes, every strand of them
Fall around; Grief fills me to the brim
I know not how long to go
Or if this desert path leads to inferno
But just like my breath, I keep walking
Holding onto the meds I keep taking
Yet not so far I see it
Whole lot of clouds, not just a bit
Dark, heavy and swift as wind
Never have I seen anything this kind
Maybe today is the day
When I get to forget yesterday
The drizzle here now I see
And finally I do not want to flee
It grows louder to a storm howling
Till in the flooding desert it left me drowning

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