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Author : Vaisakh V.
Company: UST Global
Email: Vaisakh.vasanthakumarannair@ust-global.com

The tears that made an engineer

                          One fine morning while having a lovely dream, an unpleasant sound came from the kitchen, ”eneettu chaya kudikkada..”, it was my amma. Her sound is one of the sweetest for me always, but may be my urge to complete the unfinished dream made it the worst. I came to the dining table with drowsy eyes and had my tea. Then came the usual order from amma to clean my room as she had seen some cockroaches hanging around there. The way she sounded cockroach was like she had seen some anaconda in front of her. That thought made a slight smile in me and I went to clean the room.

                   She was not exaggerating, there were cockroaches and also spider webs in between my books. The books were not even touched since my last lab exam. I started moving the books to a shelf where I kept all my old books, and noticed that there are books right from my first semester till the eight on the table. Still they are only a few. 4 years,8 sems, 57 subjects and still I have only a handful of books left with me?? How did I pass all those irritating exams.. ??. For most of us, librarian is one among the cruel characters during college life, as they steal each and every penny from our money lacking wallets!! But library is certainly the most important factor which made me an engineering graduate today. I felt proud of myself for not spending much money on textbooks, but then I remember me asking money from my parents claiming to buy a new textbook and always end up spending them for my personal needs. And also I remembered the days I stole 100s and 500s [even 1000s]from my father’s cashbox. But those money I stole, and  the ones given to me for buying textbooks are all spent with my friends. And when I think of those days..it always gives me a plethora of memories. I can assure now that the money spent on memories are more worth than buying those books which are nothing but a pile of papers just to showcase the knowledge of some so called intellectual north indians and americans. And I bet these books are used only till our final exams, but memories are forever. Moreover, memories will not make your room untidy and are not to be moved into shelves :/ :/. By placing all these evidences I think god will forgive me for deceiving my parents’ money which were given to buy those so called precious books.

                 While moving my few treasured engineering all-in-one notebooks [I call it ‘universal note’] to the shelf, I saw my old 9th standard notebook inside. I opened it and went through the pages carefully, I couldn’t even read a single sentence from that note. It was a horrible scribbling [can’t even call it as a handwriting]. And no wonder why my history teacher put the remark “is this english or hindi” in my 10th onam exam paper. And I still remember that I was the 53rd rank in my class comprising of 55 students [and of course 54th and 55th were my best friends ;)].

                And that thoughts took me back to the memories of my progress report card signing day [they call it ‘parents-teachers meeting]during the 2nd term exam of 10thstandard. I escorted amma to school to sign the report card, I convinced her that all students are having low marks so there is nothing to worry about. The system in my school was like, the teachers sit in a row and the parents accompanied by the students have to meet each teacher and sign a particular paper. And when my name was called, I went with my amma. Just as I feared, the teachers told her about all I did during the class time and my rank in class. Even one teacher dared to tell her that I should stop studying and do some labour work as I am a dumbass. She said this in a very loud voice so that most of the teachers and parents with their wards heard it. Some teachers and parents laughed at my amma and me, some gave a sympathetic look on us. Teacher might have cracked a joke, but that was more than enough to break my amma’s heart and she was insulted in front of all of them. I saw drops of tears from her eyes, now almost all the parents and teachers stared at us. We came out of the school quickly. On the way back home, I tried to look in her eyes, they were wet and swollen. I don’t know what was exactly going through her mind at that time and I was also not that matured enough to know how it feels.

My amma was always the one who wiped my tears when my achan scolds me, and now here I am, making my beloved amma cry in front of a bunch of laughing teachers and proud parents. I was heart-broken for some days, I tried to study hard, but I couldn’t. I somehow passed my 10th exam with difficulty.

               I closed my 9th standard note and came back to the present me, I noticed my eyes are wet. I moved all the books to the shelf and saw a photostat of my provisional certificate on my table. My life after 10th was like a fairy tale, everything changed in a sudden. I became the 3rd rank in +1 onam exams and I passed btech without any backlogs. I don’t know whether its my inner determination or whether god has granted me with an extra brain on seeing my amma’s tears. My close friends always asks me how I am getting passed in all exams as they never saw me studying. I have only this story to share with you guys.

               I am  now a degree holder, an ‘engineer’. It may not be a big thing for most of you, but for a guy who struggled basic addition and subtraction even in his 10th standard, its a great achievement. Now I am the son of a proud mom, who is going to join in a pretty good company within a week. How can I forget my amma at this moment and her tears which took out an engineer in me. Breaking my thoughts, I heard my amma’s sound from kitchen: “mixie kedaayi, sheriyakkan kodukanam.. “ achan:”veetiloru engineer und, enthinu kollam…!! “