One fine Sunday morning my wife wakes me up from sleep and told me that We’re going to have a baby!” she said with a gleeful smile
I was obviously excited; I was going to be a father. Wow! It was all so new and exciting to me. I wasn’t sure how it was going to be or how I was supposed to handle it, but a FATHER? Wow, again! My happiness knew no bounds, really. I did everything I was told to do by my mother-in-law.
Pregnant women need rest, right? A month into the pregnancy thing, I learnt the most important thing about it. As it happens, "pregnancy" is not about having a baby. It's about being sick all the time. I mean it, just ALL THE TIME. It is a series of inconveniences for the husband and wife, in the name of life-making.
Btw you're trying to understand how on earth you created something that has a beating heart and consciousness; the next moment, there is puke. It began with morning sickness. I knew that was coming, so I was mentally prepared for it. But soon it made me wonder- honestly, why do they call it 'morning' sickness? It lasts all day and night! It's just... sickness. She had nausea, and it seemed like an eternity of tiredness and vomit all over the place, all the time. It didn’t even make her feel better! I remember how good it felt those few times I threw up after I drank too much. But apparently, this wasn’t the case here. Suddenly, I didn't understand the human body any more. I didn't understand my wife's body any more :-)
The change is not just physical, but you're constantly in the company of a very vulnerable woman- a woman whom you love so much that your heartaches, and a woman you have suddenly stopped understanding. It's the worst feeling in the world when your WIFE is crying and your arms are just not enough to comfort her any more. Isn’t pregnancy supposed to be a joyful process? I saw no streak of joy visible anywhere! That pregnancy 'glow' that all these movies talk about is an elaborate HOAX.
I’m just 28 and I’m going to be a parent for the first time. I like my alcohol, my sleep, car and my weekends. So, cut me some slack! I was new to it and yes, so was she. I don’t know how, but she seemed to be able to endure all of it without complaint. Maybe, it was just me. I don’t think men are wired to handle long-term drama and pain. Most of us can endure pain for short duration of time. Yes, I don’t have any of the biological parts required to produce a baby. But I don’t think I could have handled it even if I did. I don’t see how I could ever deal with whatever comes with pregnancy. It is just something my brain cannot handle, let alone my body. It’s one of those woman things, I guess. They have the in-built patience and resolve to take all of that pain for nine whole months. Living normally while there is human cooking inside you is not a joke; I agree. I feel guilty about giving her a cold shoulder and pretending all the while that this is completely normal; because it is NOT. It is nowhere close to being normal. I’m just glad that her mother was there to take care of her because I couldn’t bring myself to do that. For once, I felt love for my mother-in-law. I could give her the world's biggest hug even now. She didn’t seem like the intimidating and spine-chilling woman that I usually find her to be.
She went through so much of it without my support. I couldn’t be pregnant with her and I’m glad about it, but we now have a beautiful baby, all thanks to her. All I did was provide the sperm. The best I could do after that was telling her that she looked beautiful and really mean it; I did mean it.