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Sleeping was not easy, knowing

that the house was not cleaned,

the puppy was not fed,

and the plants were not watered..

 

My little grandchild, came to me

complaining about a lost doll..

I wish to hug her,

Take her in my lap and say,

It is right there under the bed, honey

But i couldn't do that..

 

The dearest school friend, my confidante

Murmured something strange

Might be some old jest,

but the words fizzled out..

I wish to giggle with her

Pinch her hand and laugh

But i couldn't do that..

 

His gentle touch, reminded me

the very first kick in my womb..

The same warmth, of that tiny body

when he, the sweetest facsimile of his father,

was first laid beside me.

I wish to ask him, the usual shabby question

"Did you eat something darling?"

But i couldn't do that..

 

I see the younger me, in her

The jovial girl who, by and by

became our daughter, our beloved one..

I wish to say to her, "I'll miss your company,

Take care of these fragile souls, dear

Once i leave from here".

But i couldn't do that..

 

His breath, still smells like

the first red rose he gave me..

Upset, and will shout at me, for sure

If i say goodbye to him

I know, i will be leaving

a helpless, perished man behind..

I wish to say to him, "Please come with me,

as you do all the time.."

But i couldn't do that..

 

And then, i woke up 

to the smell of mango wood, burning around me

I feel I am back home

Sitting in an old swing, 

in that shady mango tree

Living in a lucid dream,

Seen by someone else..

Author
Raji Chandran
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